Oktoberfest Was A Bust

Achtung! Just went to Oktoberfest last Saturday at 1-Utama with a few of my friends, after much of my constant persuasion and bitching since I've never had the chance to experience this beer fest. I'm a sucker for soaking up new cultures. The repeated advertisement in the papers promised German Weissbier for a gold RM1 coin (yep, the soon-to-be defunct national currency come December 7th), mouth-watering wieners, frankfurthers, and sauerkraut.

But looks can be deceiving indeed.

Instead of Weissbier, I got Foster's. Instead of a nice dinner of wieners and German beer, I had to settle for a meal of ramen noodles and cola. Instead of nice local barmaids in sexy Bavarian off-shoulder dresses, I got equally nice waitresses in that ramen shop (albeit not kimonos though). Instead of a rowdy bar fight involving lots of drunken, pissed-off Germans and locals alike, I had to draw out the nearest katana from beneath the counter to fend myself and slice my way through the thick crowds of rampaging Nihon-jins and locals while shouting "Banzai!!!".

Nah the last part was a joke. But should those kind of scenarios ever happen to me in real-life, I would seriously contemplate taking the nearest knife to defend myself. It's my life we're talking about here!

Anyway, back to the topic. Oktoberfest 1-Utama wasn't exactly what I had in mind. Not only were there insufficient tables and seats, the food was also in short supply. My friends and I were actually quite interested to savor the Deutsch cuisine spread out in front of us, but later changed our minds after seeing hordes of people suffocating that little area and knowing those who got to the tables would be occupying them longer than the Japanese in Malaya during World War II (even those who had already finished eating at the tables). We turned and left. The people in line for the wieners stretched miles anyway, so we guessed they'd be over long before we even reached the front line. Therefore, we missed the chance to listen to the live Bavarian band. Man that sucks.

About 30 meters from the event, we found ourselves a few sofas, sat down and, beer in hand, we all drank to the disastrous Oktoberfest. All but one girl gave away their redeemed Foster's and shunned even a drop of it. Okay so maybe I shouldn't be complaining so much since at least I got myself a bottle of beer for dirt-cheap RM1. But still I felt that the organizers should've stuck to their promise. Nevermind.

The rest of the evening passed in a blur - we went to the afore mentioned dinner, then a few split up, another guy took off, two more broke off from the remaining group until at long last, only two guys were the last ones standing. So with nothing to do, apart from looking at pretty gals passing by us, the both of us watched Jackie Chan's "The Myth". Somehow or the other it made me feel a bit weird inside to see a gracefully-aged Jackie hooking up with a hot Korean chick, probably young enough to be his daughter and has the hots for him.

Moral of the story : Avoid future Oktoberfests at shopping malls with insufficient amount of tables open to the public and be suspicious of Weissbiers going for RM1. Chicks dig guys who can fight mean and carry a badass sword, nevermind if they're slightly aged.